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LaughingRat
Mirthful Rodent
Joined: 08 Nov 2005
Posts: 515
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 Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 1:59 pm Post subject: Headlines from 2029 |
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Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the AmericanTerritory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 100 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only instead of Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
85-years, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. (Hummmmmmmmm)
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. (OMG! They killed Gerbil! YOU BASTARDS!!)
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florida and Ohio voters still having trouble with voting machines.
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If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and heartbeats. |
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Mad_Gerbil
Commandant In Exile
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 712
Location: Buying Firebolts
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| Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 4:01 pm Post subject: |
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Blizzard Entertainment rolls out Diablo XVII - now with support for USB 4.0 scent monitors.
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Thief Kills: 251
Loot Returned: 30,980
Torches Relit: 88 |
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LaughingRat
Mirthful Rodent
Joined: 08 Nov 2005
Posts: 515
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| Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 4:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Mad_Gerbil wrote: | | Blizzard Entertainment rolls out Diablo XVII - now with support for USB 4.0 scent monitors. |
OK, now consider such things as the carnage in Andariel's lair, the Maggot Hole (as well as other places you haven't seen yet), and tell me if you think that's a GOOD thing....
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If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and heartbeats. |
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Mad_Gerbil
Commandant In Exile
Joined: 12 Oct 2005
Posts: 712
Location: Buying Firebolts
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| Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 6:22 pm Post subject: |
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| LaughingRat wrote: | | Mad_Gerbil wrote: | | Blizzard Entertainment rolls out Diablo XVII - now with support for USB 4.0 scent monitors. |
OK, now consider such things as the carnage in Andariel's lair, the Maggot Hole (as well as other places you haven't seen yet), and tell me if you think that's a GOOD thing.... |
You would still play.
_________________
<:3 )~~~
Thief Kills: 251
Loot Returned: 30,980
Torches Relit: 88 |
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LaughingRat
Mirthful Rodent
Joined: 08 Nov 2005
Posts: 515
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| Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 10:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Mad_Gerbil wrote: | | You would still play. |
Only after disconnecting the smell-o-vision.
_________________
If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and heartbeats. |
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